Parenting Tips: Talking to your Child's Teachers
Labels: Parent - Teacher Relationship
A parents' guide to preparing for an interview with their kid's teacher. Help your children succeed in school by being an effective advocate.
It's Parent and Teacher Interview Time!
Many of us dread meeting our children's teachers. We feel shy, awkward and worried. Sometimes, we come away feeling that the interview was a waste of time. Here's how to set yourself up for a successful meeting:
1) Understand why you need to meet the teacher.
The whole reason for this interview is to exchange information that will help your child succeed. Just by showing up you're off to a good start. If you accomplish nothing else, you'll at least be opening the lines of communication and sending the message that your child is cared for.
Another good reason for the interview is to learn more about what kind of person your child is spending her year with. As parents, we need to feel confident that our kids are in good hands. For me, this means having a sense that the teacher is both competent and compassionate. There are many excellent teachers out there, so most likely you'll come away reassured. But, teaching, like any other profession, there are a few duds. You'll never know, until you meet face to face, what kind of teacher your child has.
2) Gather information from your child ahead of time.
Knowing how your son feels ahead of time, will help you to be a better advocate for him and may save you some unpleasant surprises! Kids often 'come clean' about their scholastic shortcomings when they know you're about to hear all about it anyway. Most would rather you hear their side first. But good, bad or indifferent, find out from your son how he feels about school. What subject does he like best? Is he happy with his work and progress? What did your son think of his last report card? Was he surprised by his marks or by any teacher comments? Does he feel the report is fair? What are his goals now? Is there anything he would like to see change (in himself, with the teacher or about the curriculum)? Ask him to predict what the teacher is going to tell you. Then, ask him what he would like you to say to the teacher.
3) Make a list of your questions and concerns, especially if you feel a little nervous.
Just like when you visit the doctor, if you attend this interview without a list, you run the risk of forgetting an important point. Also, it can be difficult to ask the teacher to do something special for your daughter, such as giving her extra help after school. Having your request written down ahead of time can strengthen your resolve.
It's important to fill your daughter's teacher in on the big picture. Plan to let the teacher know about any major changes or challenges your child is facing right now. Events that can affect how students function in school include: the death of someone they love, parental divorce, a new baby at home, or even a time and energy consuming after-school sport or job. The background you can provide may help the teacher to react appropriately and to go that extra mile.
You can also give the teacher some information to help him teach your child more effectively. Is your daughter the kind who needs a quiet environment to focus, or is she someone who thinks best by talking through her ideas, out loud? It may take a while for the teacher to figure out the optimum learning style of every student. Your insights really help.
Encourage the teacher to see you as an ally in your daughter's education. Ask what you can be doing at home to help. Offer, if you can, to volunteer in the classroom, or drive for the next field trip or speak to the class about your area of expertise. And be very sure to stress to the teacher that you want to be informed right away if any problems come up for your child.
And finally, if your daughter has any special needs, such as a learning disability, check to ensure the teacher knows about, and has a plan for meeting, those needs. Don't assume that this information is automatically passed on from year to year. Reports can be lost and communication sometimes breaks down.
4) Relax! Remember when you walk in that classroom, that you're not 9 years old and in detention. You're a taxpayer. It's your money that's helping to pay that teacher's salary. You have every right to be treated with respect and deference. It may help you to know that many teachers are just as nervous as you are!
Many of us dread meeting our children's teachers. We feel shy, awkward and worried. Sometimes, we come away feeling that the interview was a waste of time. Here's how to set yourself up for a successful meeting:
1) Understand why you need to meet the teacher.
The whole reason for this interview is to exchange information that will help your child succeed. Just by showing up you're off to a good start. If you accomplish nothing else, you'll at least be opening the lines of communication and sending the message that your child is cared for.
Another good reason for the interview is to learn more about what kind of person your child is spending her year with. As parents, we need to feel confident that our kids are in good hands. For me, this means having a sense that the teacher is both competent and compassionate. There are many excellent teachers out there, so most likely you'll come away reassured. But, teaching, like any other profession, there are a few duds. You'll never know, until you meet face to face, what kind of teacher your child has.
2) Gather information from your child ahead of time.
Knowing how your son feels ahead of time, will help you to be a better advocate for him and may save you some unpleasant surprises! Kids often 'come clean' about their scholastic shortcomings when they know you're about to hear all about it anyway. Most would rather you hear their side first. But good, bad or indifferent, find out from your son how he feels about school. What subject does he like best? Is he happy with his work and progress? What did your son think of his last report card? Was he surprised by his marks or by any teacher comments? Does he feel the report is fair? What are his goals now? Is there anything he would like to see change (in himself, with the teacher or about the curriculum)? Ask him to predict what the teacher is going to tell you. Then, ask him what he would like you to say to the teacher.
3) Make a list of your questions and concerns, especially if you feel a little nervous.
Just like when you visit the doctor, if you attend this interview without a list, you run the risk of forgetting an important point. Also, it can be difficult to ask the teacher to do something special for your daughter, such as giving her extra help after school. Having your request written down ahead of time can strengthen your resolve.
It's important to fill your daughter's teacher in on the big picture. Plan to let the teacher know about any major changes or challenges your child is facing right now. Events that can affect how students function in school include: the death of someone they love, parental divorce, a new baby at home, or even a time and energy consuming after-school sport or job. The background you can provide may help the teacher to react appropriately and to go that extra mile.
You can also give the teacher some information to help him teach your child more effectively. Is your daughter the kind who needs a quiet environment to focus, or is she someone who thinks best by talking through her ideas, out loud? It may take a while for the teacher to figure out the optimum learning style of every student. Your insights really help.
Encourage the teacher to see you as an ally in your daughter's education. Ask what you can be doing at home to help. Offer, if you can, to volunteer in the classroom, or drive for the next field trip or speak to the class about your area of expertise. And be very sure to stress to the teacher that you want to be informed right away if any problems come up for your child.
And finally, if your daughter has any special needs, such as a learning disability, check to ensure the teacher knows about, and has a plan for meeting, those needs. Don't assume that this information is automatically passed on from year to year. Reports can be lost and communication sometimes breaks down.
4) Relax! Remember when you walk in that classroom, that you're not 9 years old and in detention. You're a taxpayer. It's your money that's helping to pay that teacher's salary. You have every right to be treated with respect and deference. It may help you to know that many teachers are just as nervous as you are!